Quietly freaking out

In an uncharacteristic mood swing given my class load(2), work schedule(none), season(summer), I'm having visions of not succeeding in life. Mostly involving school, drawing, ID. So what better thing to do about it than blog at 2:40 in the a.m. I've mentioned before that I'm not sketching as much as I should. It's a typical bad cycle. I don't think I'm that good at it and I don't want to look at them, so I don't do it. And by not sketching, I get worse. I'm signed up for a Nike studio: shoes. Shoes I feel are like cars. You can ruin the proportions easily and mess up the whole thing. I've squeezed out a little shoe here and there and promptly threw them in the trash.

This then makes me think about how this is parallel with the rest of my life. If it's too hard, do I just ignore it? Don't get me wrong, I like a challenge but it helps when I think I can win. The drawing part half of my concentration here at school. Obviously I don't suck at it since I'm beginning my third year here, but it gets quite discouraging when after every corner you see someone who is phenomenally better than you.

So I know what my strength is, the thought-process/idea. But drawing conveys those "grand ideas" I may have. My sterling personality and wit? Same thing, I need to show those attributes to a potential employer without being able to be there to explain.

None of these are new thoughts. I'd rather be in Lake Superior enjoying the giant waves that come this time of year with the high, warm winds. That it's kind of lonely here... But enough, time to end this depressio bloggio. I smell a camp fire but seeing as how I'm in Metro Detroit, it's actually a house burning down. Thanks D. I think I'll change the coloring of this for a while and then get back to working on my Type3 assignment.